Thursday, February 18, 2010

no fear in faith

The past couple of days things have seemed to come together. When things come up that I should worry about I've found a peace with it. God is in complete control. I have finally realized that I can't fix it, I cant do anything except give it to God. Many of you are prolly rolling your eyes saying its about time. My heart has been solid and my head clear. However, today was an "off" day. My fear has caught up with me and I keep telling myself that faith and fear do not coexist. I tell people that everything will be ok, just keep Christ at the center. The real truth is I am human, I am fearful.

I'm scared about my medical issues.
I'm scared about this summer.
I'm scared of making the wrong decisions.
I'm scared of saying the wrong thing.
I'm scared of screwing up.
I'm scared of the possbility of being so busy.
I'm scared I'm going to miss an opportunity.
I'm scared of being completely trustworthy and transparent with people.
I'm scared about next year.
I'm scared of losing people that are close to me whether that being going in different directions or whatever.

The other night I told one of my friends to stop everything, close her eyes, take 3 deep breaths, and whatever came to her mind just give to God. I wish I could take my own advice, I wish it were that easy. And yeah, I know, it really is that easy but I still worry. I know that I'm supposed to be in the field of study I'm in. Something happens on a daily basis to remind me that it is right, actually I'm scared of how many doors God has opened for me. Most of the things I can't predict or fix so my only option is to give them to God. He will take away my fears and comfort me in my time of need.

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