Born without a cape

I wasn't born with tights on and a cape around my neck. I'm not a hero. I'm not capable of saving the world and fixing it of it's problems. I'm not even capable of fixing my own. But God is. I'm in the process of moving on. I try to figure out what the problem is and fix it. Is the problem the fact that I left WKU and moved on with my life away from undergrad life and from some of the best friends I'll ever have? Is the problem with the fact that I'm not as busy as I have been during the past 22 years of my life? Is the problem with the fact that I'm still in undergrad or not doing what I have my degree in? Is the problem with the fact that I'm striving for a goal I'm scared I'm not going to reach? Is the problem that I'm doing something and still feel like Im not meeting my full potential? Is the problem that I'm not physically there for my friends? Is the problem that I'm lonely? The answer to all those questions is maybe.

To be honest the real problem is that I'm not where I need to be with Christ. I justify my sins, I justify not putting Him first. I find an excuse I find a way out. Whether its with school, eating right, working out, doing what I want, I justify it. It's time I start taking responsibility for my choices, its time I start filling the gap, that hole, that much needed satisfaction with Christ instead of something else. Nothing else can fix my pain and heal my heart. Nothing and no one can provide the answers I need or allow me to live the life I need to. Even if I could pinpoint the problem and where my emotions are stemming from there would come a point in life where I would have to face the creator. I don't want to have to justify things. I want to come in battled, bruised, beat up, scared, and say thanks for the ride, I did everything I could. I want to face trials with joy. I want to look to Christ before I look to my friends, my parents, and everything else of this world. Nobody's opinion of me matters, I'm serving an almighty God that has already won the war. I'm a treasure to Christ. I can't fix my problems or my hurt. I wasn't born with a cape or tights, I was born with a God who chases after me when I run and seeks after me when I hide. And no matter where I am will always be there same.