No Fear

Did you know that in every book of the bible it talks about fear?
Did you know we are not born with fear but it something we develop over time?
As children we roll down hills, jump off 2 story buildings, run into the street, do the unimaginable until we get hurt.

Two years ago I started this blog talking about my adventure on camp but it was really about dealing with fear. Last year I wrote in this blog about fear with my grandfather dying. 6 months ago I wrote about how fearful I was of being in Nashville and what to do with my life. Now as I sit here in the beginning of another summer I fear. I fear the future because of the unknown. As I flew back from England I realized that I fear jumping out of a plan. I also realize that I fear losing control.

I think about life and the fears it holds; being alone, not succeeding, not doing what is right, letting people down, flat out failing. I also think of all those things and what I have learned from letting people down, failing, being alone. I've seen the strength it gives me. I see that I can't do it alone. I see that God does it through me. As I look/looked for places to go to grad school I feared what I would do with my free time, I feared being along and starting over. More than that I fear not accepting a challenge, not defeating another obstacle. I fear, fear.

As I get older and become more rational about jumping out of a building or off a plane or rolling down a hill I also find myself being hard headed and stubborn. I see myself wanting to push myself just to see if I can stand. God tells us that he will also be with us, he will also provide, he will be our comforter, our all in all, He is all we need. So it shouldn't matter if I'm at home, 2 hours away, or 12 hours away I find comfort that God is there, always and forever. There is no fear when believing and trusting in God. There is only a push to do what is needed to do...for myself, for others, for God.

The Next Chapter

Today, well yesterday I turned 22. Yeah, its not old at all but for the first time I really felt like I was growing up. For the past two weeks I have been having the time of my life, taking lots of pictures, and making a video of what college has included. Yes, all four years of pictures. If you are looking to kill a half hour let me know! I also stumbled across my cousins wedding video.

Today I realized that nothing is going to be the same. If I go back and finish my communications degree or start my masters at WKU or Uofl or find a job or sit on my parents couch, I finished a chapter of my life. Everything seems to be in a whirlwind of change. My brother is moving on to different things, I am making a decision in my life, my extended family is starting families of their own. We have been through it all: deaths, graduations,birthdays, holidays, weddings... what else is there is experience?

I realized that as a left BG today I was saying good bye to many people I love dearly not knowing the next time I will see them. I left BG today knowing that when I return whether it be a few weeks from now or a few months that everything will be different. My friends that were there freshman year won't all be there. My memories will be many of that, just memories.

As family and friends and even myself move on I look back and am thankful for everybody that has made an impact on my life, big or small. I look back at my experiences and how they made me the person I am. I look into the future and pray that it hold half the excitement, entertainment, adventures, and emotions as the past 22 years have had. As I close this chapter and end a new one I can't help but remember words of a dear friend. "People say that these are the best years of our life but I sure hope not because there isn't much to look forward to. I think that we should strive to make the next year better than the last. That way it was always be the best year of your life.... I'm thinking I've got some pretty awesome years ahead of me!