chicken with my head cut off

Lately life has been so crazy but at the same time it hasn't. My life has been consumed by baseball. Most people would say, hey thats the life! It is when you are playing and you have fallen in love with what you are doing. It can be the life. I feel like I've spent every waking hour there. I get up go the ballpark, spend anywhere from 7-13 hours there, come home, shower, and go to bed only to do it all over again the next day. Yeah, we are in the middle of a 13 game home strech but it makes me wonder if I'm really goin to love what I do. It makes me worry inside what if I can't actually do what I want to do, where do I go from there?

The part that kills me is that I feel like I haven't made any time for my friends and family. Any time I'm out its with people from the park. Any free time I have I just want to sleep or just chill out. I miss my friends, I miss my life. I miss home. I haven't been home since Easter. I did go home for Derby but it freaked me out and I came straight back to school. I miss spending quality time with my parents. I miss the summer nights out by the fire. Life is different now and I'm not ready to accept it. I'm not ready to accept that life as I have always known it is slipping through my fingers and its time for my to grow up and move on.