This summer the biggest thing that has stuck with me isn't the kids, not the sports, not the songs, it's one story. I've heard it all my life but for some reason this summer stuck it in my head. Its the one about the armor of God. We talk about how we need all of the pieces to be soliders ready to go into battle. Without just one peice of the armor it is not safe for us to go into battle. If I were to go into battle today, I would end up wounded. Not dead, just wounded.
I say not dead because with God I get all eternity. I was asked today but a stranger if I died today if I knew where I was going and I answered yes, Heaven. He asked why and I answered with john 3:16. We always forget about what john 3:17 says. He doesn't want to condemn us he wants to save us. He forgives us when we screw up and we all do. God is good, God is all good all the time. No matter what we are going through and as much as we reject Him he is always there. Sometimes He is there and we love it, sometimes He's like the fly we swat at for hours but can truely never get rid of.
I feel selfish and I feel like I have not accomplished what I have wanted to accomplish. I'm not talking about building the resume. I'm not talking about pleasing others. I'm talking about pleaseing God. I feel like I could have done so much and now I'm trying to make up for it. I want to be like my grandfather who gave everything he has to make something better for other people while sharing the love of Christ. I find myself doing all these to make me into somebody but I should consider myself nothing and God everything. My job is to serve others no matter the capacity. I've been frusterated, I've been mad, I've been upset. Indirectly at God, directly with myself. I've done everything but blame myself for my failures, but from my failures I rise above and become better. I learn to use the gifts God gave me to reach a place that does not know him. I've let nobody down except myself with full knowledge that I can be better than what I am now, just a college student going through the motions.
Hear my prayer:
God make me into somebody that serves unconditionally. Let this not be my life but take my soul and make this a life pleasing to you. Live in me, live through me. Use me as a living sacrifice. Let me make no excuse. Let me stumbles become building blocks. Let the sunrise remind me of your beauty. Let the sunset remind me that your are powerful. You are almighty and nothing is better than basking in your Glory. Find me on my knees broken and hopeless without you. I may not understand, I may not agree, but you, God, you know whats right for me.
"Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done EVERYTHING, TO STAND."- Eph. 6:13
ReplyDeleteDid we live the same lives this summer? I read that section of Ephesians over and over again the whole summer! Prayin for ya, keep up the perseverance. And remember, the armor of God doesn't include something to protect your backside- it's to protect you as you go into battle full-throttle, facing the "forces of evil in the heavenly realms" that oppose God. I've got faith in you! :)