Most people know that I'm stubborn, hard headed, and extremely independent. I'm going to do things on my own time and when I'm ready. I've been this way ever since I was a little kid. I mean there is a picture of me in my crib when I first learned how to pull myself up that says it all. Now 21 years old why should anything be any different? It make take me a while but eventually I come around and get my head on straight. Lots has happened this summer and I may not be exactly where I need to be but I'm finally feeling like there is an upswing. Here are some of my personal realizations I've made if not the past few days, ive realized them this summer.
1) When times get tough it becomes tough to know who to depend on to be there. I've learned that God will always be there, yeah its a reoccuring lesson but sometimes it needs to be reinforced.
2) I've relyed on people or materalistic things to get me through when really the only thing that will is Christ.
3) It's okay to be upset and mad at God as long as you don't deny the truth that He sent His one and only son to die for you and your screw ups.
4)The hard things in life come to make us stronger, without them where would we be? how would we learn? how would we grow?
5)I need to stop thinking that people are going to leave, I've really found solid friends that are going to be there no matter what.
6) No matter how fast we try to run from God, He will always be there. The famous saying you can run but you can't hide doesn't apply to Him.
7)I've decided that I try and do too much instead of listening but really letting God have control over it all. I'm a fixer and a doer but really I can't fix or do anything, it's all God.
8)As humans we have a tendency to listen tell people what they want to hear instead of what they need to hear.
9)I've learned that we don't always push people towards Christ like we should, we tend to just let people say what they want.
10) I personally feel like we don't say or show people love enough. So much of the time all someone needs to hear is I love you followed by a hug. People seem to busy to stop and make sure that the people they truely care about feel loved and cared about.
Some of these have to do with what I have been going through lately. Some have to do with dealing with the death of multiple people I've known this summer, some have to do with friendships and people moving on, some have to do with the disappointments I've met this summer. All of them in one way or another deal with the ups and downs of christianity and that as a 21 year old college student striving to be a christian in the midst of lifes curveballs.
God will never leave you or forsake you. My God is just that MY GOD. the last sermon I listened to of my grandfather's is psalm 23. In it He talks about how God is after you. He will put all the sheep away and go searching for the lost the sheep. To be honest I've felt like the last sheep lately. However, I had my wake up call a couple of days ago. It may take me awhile but I catch on eventually. The walk up the mountain isn't always easy but I know I'll be stronger for it.
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